This is some of what was sent to me for our collective Mother's Day tribute
--to us!!! I did not include the longer ones, but all of them will be
submitted! At the very end is a bit of information about the Chicken Soup
project I am working on - I have been corresponding with the lady in charge
of submissions and requests for book proposals - I am not promising anything
- nor are they - but they are interested as there is NOT one in the process
for "Special Needs Souls" if I submit the propasal package good enough, and
submit a possible layout - then we can get this done - but I need help -
please read the very last post for details....
So, here it is - I am so glad I had the priviledge of doing this for all you
mom's!! Happy Mother's Day to all mom's of special needs children!!!! And
you contributors - do you realize how hard it is to type through tears???
It is your fault for any typo's!!!! lol lol lol....
***
I would like to start off with Erma Bombeck - these last words she wrote
before her death really depicts a mother to me!
"My deeds will be measured not by my youthful appearance, but by the concern
lines on my forehead, the laugh lines around my mouth, and the chins from
seeing what can be done for those smaller than me or who have fallen."
***
All my life I have been insecure - but five years after having my beautiful
Jessica I have become the kind of person I can be so proud of. Jessica has
taught me strength, endurance, unconditional love and laughter. At the end
of each day I am exhausted but I know in my heart that I have learned so
much
more that day, loved so much more that day and have helped someone else to
become the kind of person she can be proud of as well. - Dawn Mitten (mom
to Jes 4.5 HFA and Bobby 1yr old)
***
"Never despair of a child. The one you weep the most for at the mercy-seat
may fill your heart with the sweetest joys." T.L. Cutler
***
from Chrissie Kane..
Every mother is able to tell you when their child first said Mommy, but for
parents of children with autism the long wait for this moment makes it even
more special. I almost missed this moment in the life of my autistic son,
Alex. At 3 1/2, he could identify me from a picture, but never called me by
name. One day I was cleaning my house when I heard a voice behind me say,
"Mommy." I assumed this voice was my five year old, so responded, "what
sweetheart?" and kept on my cleaning mission. The voice did not respond, so
I continued on task. Again, "Mommy," I gave the same reply with no response
from the voice. After a few more times became frustrated with what I
thought was my 5 year old daughter. I finally turned to tell the voice to
stop calling me when to my absolute shock and joy my autistic son was
standing there calling me mommy. I stopped what I was doing, hugged him,
and started to weep for joy. The one word I waited so long to hear and I
almost told him to stop. My Alex, unable to recognize happy tears, said,
"Are you O.K.?" My response, "yes Honey, I've never been so O.K. before."
Every typical mother hears their children call them by name, I'll never take
it for granted again.
***
Go On!
Go On, Focus your eyes, upon the goal, upon the prize. Fight on, never
quit,
push ahead, You'll win it. Press on, Don't give in, Do not resign, run to
win, Keep on, Don't show slow your pace, Stay the course, Finish the race.
Go on, Keep on track, Keep the faith, Don't look back! Perry Tanksley.
***
"Mother means selfless devotion, limitless sacrifice, and love that passes
understanding." unknown
***
This poem is for my son Cameron. He has Williams Syndrome and Autism. He is
sunshine and he shows me daily what life and love are all about....
Mommy, Just Breathe
Hurry son, you'll be late for school,
I hear myself say again,
As he reaches his fingers to touch the rose petals,
still covered from morning rain.
He runs his fingers along the bricks
as I bustle him along.
He stops and listens as birds fly above
singing their good morning song.
I'm rushing to bribe him into the car
so that we can be ontime.
He stops to watch a tiny spider
and sings the appropriate rhyme.
The 'itsy bitsy spider' can wait.
we're in a hurry again.
He stops and gives me 'Butterfly kisses'.
Rushing is not in his plan.
He bends his knees and reaches down
to touch the blades of grass.
I slow my morning hastiness
and realize I'm moving too fast.
He looks at me with big hazel eyes
and smiles an innnocent smile.
As I reach down and touch the greass,
time stands still for a while.
I truly stop and take a deep breath
and smell the morning air.
I watch him absorb the whole world
as I stroke his soft brown hair.
He is here on this earth
for special reasons indeed.
For this very morning, he spoke not a word,
but his actions said, "Mommy, just breathe."
by Ronda Spataro - RAVENf29@...
***
When I look at my son Jake, I know all the hard times are worth it, and this
has made my family stronger. I never take a single milestone for granted.
I cherish every tiny thing." Britney Szpondowski
***
After having fought for, advocated for, and spoken for my son during the
past 3 years of his ABA program, these lyrics from a song sung by Celine
Dion will make me weep time and time again:
Because you Loved me - by Celine Dion
You're the one who helped me up, never let me fall,
You're the one who saw me through it all,
You were my strength when I was weak,
You were my voice when I couldn't speak,
You were my eyes when I couldn't see,
You saw the best there was in me..
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach,
You gave me faith 'cause you believed,
I'm everything I am, because you loved me.
You gave me wings and made me fly,
You touched my hand, I could touch the sky,
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me,
You said no star was out of reach.
You stood by me and I stood tall,
I had your love, I had it all.
I'm greateful for each day you gave me.
Maybe I don't know that much,
But I know this much is true,
I was blessed because I was "Loved by You"....
This is for all the moms who have gone through so much because they've loved
beyond words, fought for, and protected, their special needs children. God
Bless all of you!!
from TJCMJC@...
***
My favorite reminder of my son Doug, who is now 13, is when he was around 3.
Doug is non-verbal most of the time, but every now and then words just come
out. The best was when I was washing dishes one afternoon and Doug tugged
on my shorts and said, "Hey you." That was the first time he had ever
acknowledged me. It brought tears to my eyes."
Debbie - mom of Doug
***
I would have to say that there are many things our son has brought into
my life. Appreciation and undying LOVE for accomplishments, effort,
dedication, strength and trust. Just a week ago, my son has almost
potty trained himself and had small conversations with us...all of the
qualities above...his effort, his - the therapists dedication, trust &
strength helped him do that! A child depends on us desperately to
guide, love and teach them. What greater honor in life could God have
given us? In my opinion...NONE! Everytime I see his BIG brown eyes,
dimples, and feel him rub his cheeks against mine when he is hugging me
reminds me that yes, at first I couldn't except his autism, but now I am
ready to beat it TEN FOLD!!
LOVINGLY,
Rose
Michael's mom
***
"A mother.....fills a place so great that there isn't an angel in heaven who
wouldn't be glad to give a bushel of diamonds to come down here and take her
place." Billy Sunday
***
The Mountain - submitted from Donna Carver and written by Jim Stovall
There were two warring tribes in the Andes, one that lived in the lowlands
and the other high in the Mountains. The mountain people invaded the
lowlanders one day, as part of their plundering of the people, they
kidnapped a baby of one of the lowlander families and took the infant with
them back up into the mountains.
The lowlanders didn't know how to climb the mountain. They didn't know any
of the trails that the mountain people used, and they didn't know where to
find the mountain people of how to track them in the steep terrain. Even
so, they sent out their best party of fighting men to climb the mountain and
bring the baby home. After several days of effort, they had only climbed
several hundred feet.
Feeling hopeless and helpless, the lowlander men decided that the cause was
lost, and they prepared to return to their village below.
As they were packing their gear for the descent, they saw the baby's mother
walking toward them. They realized that she was coming DOWN the mountain
that they hadn't figured out how to climb!
And then they saw that she had the baby strapped to her back. HOW COULD
THAT BE??
One man greeted her and said, "WE couldn't climb this mountain. How did you
do this when we, the strongest men and most able men in the village couldn't
do it?"
She shrugged her shoulders and said, "It wasn't your baby."
Autism can be a formidable mountain, but it's NOT a mountain that CAN'T be
climbed!!
***
My 13 year old son with PDD is somewhat verbal...One day last year, my son
was in the bathroom, laughing and looking in the mirror, as he loves to do.
When I came in to check on him, he guided me towards the mirror. With a big
smile, he threw his arms around my neck and positioned our faces until we
were cheek to cheek. This astonished mom was moved to tears when, as we
looked at ourselves hugging in the mirror, he uttered just one
word--"Love."
gail
grieger@...
***
"There is only one beautiful child in the world, and every mother has it."
unknown
***
I was sitting on the floor in the doorway watching my then 4 year old
autistic son play. I had just sat down and leaned against the door when JD
came back into the house, ran to the bed and got a pillow and came and put
it behind my back! I got tears in my eyes, I had no idea he even realized
he could do something for me! The sweetness of his act still brings tears!
Wendie Bloomquist
***
No Ordinary Child
The child on the busy street was not mine,
but his face was puckered with crying
and tears streaked his dirty cheeks.
He sat on the sidewalk
hugging his skinned knees,
People passed him by
for he was not their child.
But something tugged at me, and I turned back.
I knelt beside him,
wiped his tears with my handkerchief.
Then taking his hands we walked together
to find his mother.
She came running, searching through the streets
and when she saw us
she ran and gathered her son to her,
holding him tightly in her arms.
She turned to me and touched me gently
her eyes filled with gratitude.
Later that day the school called,
my little girl had wandered away.
She does that sometimes
for she is no ordinary child.
Unaware of boundaries or danger
she chases rainbows and runs
to catch the golden specks of dust
that reflect the sunlight.
She dances in her world and
bumps against mine.
We all searched for her, running along the streets
calling her name.
As I ran, I saw in the distance, the familiar
face of a woman and her son,
holding my little girls hand.
It was the same boy with the tearstained face
and skinned knees.
I ran to them, taking my daughter and holding her close to me.
I looked up into the woman's eyes
and touched her arm, I was filled with gratitude.
For this was my child she had found.
Each child is yours,
each child is mine.
I will love your child
you will cherish mine.
If your child is crying
I will wipe his tears,
If my child is lost
you will hold her near.
Each child is yours
each child is mine.
Put your hand in their's
put your hand in mine.
for all children, to who we owe our love and devotion.
c. Sally Meyer. 1999.
***
"When I come to the end of my rope, God is there to take over." unknown
***
We recently had Jonathan's 5th birthday party. This year we had about 12
kids. We did the whole routine of singing and I said to Jonathan, "Make a
wish and blow out your candles." He did it. I asked, "What did you wish
for?" He put his little arms around my neck and said, "I wished for you
mom!" Every mom there had tears.
Carolyn - mom to Jonathan 5, with Autism.
***
My 7year old did not learn to talk until he was 6years old. I was so eager
to hear him talk that I never thought I would have to say" Please stop
talking". I year later my once silent child started to tattle on his
brothers. Now he bosses his brothers all day long. I find myself saying
"David stop getting your brothers in trouble". He still does'nt know how to
have a conversation but he sure knows how to get is point across. LISA M
***
"A mother understands what a child does not say." unknown
***
A Child's Angel
Once upon a time there was a child ready to be born. One day he asked
God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going
to live there being so small and helpless?"
God answered, "Among the many angels, I chose one for you. She will be
waiting for you and will take care of you."
"But tell me, here in Heaven, I don't do anything else but sing and smile...
that's enough for me to be happy."
"Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you every day. You
will feel your angel's love and be happy."
"How am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me, if I don't
know the language that men talk?"
"Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever
hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to
speak."
"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"
"Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."
"I've heard that on earth there are bad men. Who will protect me?"
"Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."
"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."
"Your angel will always talk to you about me and will teach you the way for
you to come back to me, even though I will always be next to you."
At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from earth could
already be heard, and the child, in a hurry, asked softly, "Oh God, if I am
about to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."
"Your angel's name is of no importance. You will call your angel, Mommy."
Unknown Author
***
"A mother is the only person on earth who can divide her love among all her
children and each child still have all her love." unknown
***
Poem by Kathie Harrington author of:
"For Parents and Professional
Autism" and "For Parents and Professionals: Autism in Adolescents and
Adults."
I Never Told My Son He Couldn't Dance
I never told my son he couldn't dance.
I never thought he didn't have a chance.
I never told my son he might not read.
I only sought to plant the seed.
I never showed my son a star.
That, I felt, was way too far.
I never taught my son to fly,
But I gave him wings with which to try.
I never question's God's intent.
I only hoped my time well spent.
We never know what life will bring.
I only know that I must sing.
I never told my son he couldn't dance.
That is why he had a chance.
***
"Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had.... And
dealing with fears you didn't know existed. Being a mother is meaningful
and profound, and once it enters your life, leaves you never, ever the
same." Linda Wooten
***
When God Made Moms
By the time the Lord made mothers, he was into his sixth day of
working overtime. An Angel appeared and said "Why are you spending so
much time on this one"?
And the Lord answered and said, "Have you seen the spec sheet on
her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200
movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have
a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears when
she stands up, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to
a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands."
The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. "Six
pairs of hands! No Way!" said the Angel.
The Lord replied, "Oh, it's not the hands that are the problem.
It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!"
"And that's just on the standard model?" The Angel asked.
The Lord nodded in agreement, "Yep, one pair of eyes are to see through
the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing even though
she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head, are to see what
she needs to know even though no one thinks she can. And the third pair
are here in the front of her head. They are for looking at an errant
child and saying that she understands and loves him or her, without even
saying a single word."
The Angel tried to stop the Lord. "This is too much work for one
day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."
"But I can't!" The Lord protested, "I am so close to finishing this
creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself
when she is sick AND can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger
and can get a nine year old to stand in the shower."
The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, But you have made her
so soft, Lord.
"She is soft," the Lord agreed, but I have also made her tough. You
have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."
"Will she be able to think?", asked the Angel.
The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be
able to reason, and negotiate."
The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the
woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. I
told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.
"That's not a leak." The Lord objected. "That's a tear."
"What's the tear for? the Angel asked.
The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her
sorrow, her disappointment, her pain, her loneliness, her grief, and
her pride."
The Angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of
everything --- for mom's are truly amazing!"
***
"Children are the anchors that hold a mother to life." Sophocles
***
In My Garden
I wandered in my garden
one lovely summers day,
delighted with the beauty
of my flowers in full array.
The snapdragon so colorful
the poppy red and bold.
I touched the gentle petals
of the sunflowers' yellow gold.
I saw the gentle lily
her fragrance white and pure.
The marigold so hardy
and petunias galore.
And there along the garden wall
grew my lovely velvet rose.
Her beauty more magnificent
than the others I had chose
Her colors oh so delicate
her scent a pure delight.
I never saw the thorns she bore
too late . . . I felt the bite.
I jumped back for a moment
not understanding why,
a bloom so soft and lovely
would hurt and make me cry.
Yet, still her beauty captured me
and once again I tried,
but this time I was careful
not to touch the bitter side.
In the garden of the children
there are blossoms everywhere.
The delicate and lovely ones,
whose charms are often rare.
Some children will grow stronger
in the pleasant summer sun.
But some will fade and wither
turn themselves from everyone.
But the dearest of the children
are the ones who bear the thorn.
Those little ones who struggle
from the day that they are born.
They also bear the beauty
of the soft and gentle rose
their scent is oft most bittersweet
this is the child I chose.
And reaching out to touch him
I felt his sharpness there,
But when I touched him gently
I found the beauty rare.
In the garden of the children
where they grow so wild and free.
I chose the one who pierced my heart
and held him close to me.
c Sally Meyer
***
"A child is a gift whose worth cannot be measured except by the heart."
unknown
***
This is a poem I wrote about my son that I would like to share with you.
Sincerely,
Maxine Rosaler
Little Boy
Little boy who climbed into my bed in the middle of the night
Drooling on my pillow, making it wet
I reach down to check your diaper
Hoping it is dry
So I can lie here till morning with you in my arms.
This is my only happiness, to be here holding this little boy
Who has ruined my life
Eating up the minutes and the money with his illness
Causing me to abandon my career as an I-can't-remember-what.
How long has it been?
Almost eight years
Since you left the blood and mucus of my body
To go into this vast, bewildering place
Where everything has to be taught and learned and taught again.
I cup the top of your head with the palm of my hand
And caress the spot
Where the doctors, who don't know very much,
Say so much has gone wrong.
Your father in his sleep smiles and reaches out to hold your hand.
One by one he laces his fingers into yours.
Little finger, big finger, little finger, big finger
Little finger, big finger,
Until all ten are together as one.
Little Boy, even if there were nothing wrong with your brain
You could never know how much your mommy and daddy love you.
Poor Little Boy, who has to work so hard.
Here in our bed, you have nothing to learn.
Your way of being is a blessing I cannot understand and
I reflect on this as I drift back into a sleep
More peaceful than before.
***
"A mother's love perceives no impossibilities." Paddock
***
Before I was a Mom
Before I was a mom, I made and ate hot meals.
I had unstained clothing.
I had quiet conversations on the phone.
I slept late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.
I didnt' worry whether or not my plants were poisionous.
I never thought about immunizations.
I had never been puked on, pooped on, spit on, chewed on, peed on, or
pinched by tiny fingers.
I had complete control of my mind, my thoughts, and my body.
I slept all night.
I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests or give
shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't fix an
illness, disease, or disorder.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a mom.
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make
sure all was O.K.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the
wonderment, or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much....before I was a mom.
submitted by Carolyn Gammicca
***
Sally Meyer <rainmom@...
Our Journey
Abide with me as I journey
take my hand, I cannot walk alone
Lean on me, when life gets weary
I will help you, etil weire grown.
Sometimes I wonit know your sorrow
you may not always see my tears.
If you stumble on your journey
I will lift you, calm your fears.
One day we will know the answerr
to that searching question.... Why?
Yet for now, weill walk together
hand in hand as time goes by.
Our pathway is not lined with roses
but there is magic in a smile.
This road we travel may be lonely
but there are rainbows once in a while.
Help me as I climb my mountain
in the valley I have grown,
put your weary hand in my hand
we cannot, dare not, walk alone
c. Sally Meyer
For Dhylan
***
"To think of what your child could have been, is a waste of the child he
is." Michelle Guppy
***
The Strength of a Woman
Women have strengths that amaze men. They carry children, they carry
hardships, they carry burdens but they hold happiness, love and joy. They
smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry
when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in. They stand up for injustice. They don't
take no for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go
without new shoes so their children can have them. They go to the doctor
with
a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children
excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear
about a birth or a new marriage.
Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the loss of a
family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength
left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all
sizes, in all colors and shapes. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the
world spin! Women do more than just give birth. They bring joy and hope.They
give compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and
friends. Women have a lot to say and a lot to give.
***
"Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the
impossible." Marion C. Garretty
***
Tried to write from my heart....this is how I feel about all of my
children....
"Through the Eyes of My Child" by jstewart 4/26/00
Whenever I am sad,
Whenever I am consumed,
Whenever I am overwhelmed...
I look at life through the eyes of my child.
Whenever I feel that I have had enough,
Whenever I feel that I am all alone,
Whenever I feel as if I am at the end of my rope,
I look at life through the eyes of my child.
He may not be able to do all that others can do,
He may not be able to speak as others do,
He may not be able to understand everything around him,
But looking through his eyes reminds me what life is all about.
My son is part of the Lord's beautiful rainbow of children.
His innocence speaks louder than any words.
His face is as beautiful as the glorious sunrise.
His existance defines my purpose.
As I look through the eyes of my child,
I remember all that is good in the world
I remember the happiness all around me
I remember the innocence and beauty in all
And I remember my purpose, the true meaning of my existance.
by: Jacob's Mom 4/26/00
(Jennifer Stewart) and Alexander's mom, too.
***
"No language can express the power and beauty and heroism of a mother's
love." Edwin H. Chapin
***
What comes to my mind is the pain I sometimes see in my
Wife Joanna's eyes , when we are in public with our twin
3 1/2 year old autistic sons Tyler and Mathew .Read on !
Is this the Boy I raised ?
Is this the Son I knew ?
Is this the one I've loved ?
Why can't they love him too ?
What has my son ever done to you ?
Has he caused you some pain ?
As I recall
All he has shown is Love .
Why can't you show him the same ?
Although these words are profound , they are not mine .
They where originally used by Mary as the body of Jesus
was lowered from the cross .You do not have to be of faith
to appreciate them .
I adore my wife . She is my inspiration in life .
Keith Frank
***
"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't
trust me so much." Mother Teresa
***
I have a quote I keep on my bedside table, "You can never go back and give
your child that extra word of praise, that bedtime story, that loving hug,
so do it now." This was spoken by a mother whose child was killed at the
daycare center in the Oklahoma bombing.
When I think about how my son (now with autism) was 'typical' the first two
and a half years of his life, I wish I had done more then, while he could
appreciate it and understand more. I wish I'd read to him more, spent extra
time playing with him, praised him, hugged him, talked to him, before the
disability started. If I'd just known how little time he'd have as a
typical little boy, I'd have given everything to make those years wonderful
for him.
On the other hand, I'm glad for what we had, and still have. I don't regret
anything I did as a mother, I did my best, not knowing about the future. We
had wonderful times, and I have many fond memories and pictures of his early
years as a smiling, laughing, delighted little boy. We continue to have
special times together. I love to watch him enjoy the sounds and sight of a
flowing fountain, a stream, a passing train, or feeling the sand in his
sandbox, or freshly cut grass. I've learned appreciate such things more,
and I take pleasure in his happiness. His small accomplishments are very
special to me. I appreciate these more, knowing how much effort it was for
him.
For his 6th birthday tomorrow, I bought for each student in his special
eduation class, a 'gold' medal on a bright blue ribbon, like the ones given
out at the Olympic Games, with the word "Winner" on the medal. Each child
with autism is a winner. They struggle to adjust to our world, to our way of
life, to living with their disability. They are to be praised for who they
are, what they have done, and will do. Let's give our kids that extra word
of praise, that hug, that bedtime story, not knowing what tomorrow will
bring, and doing all we can for today.
Mary
***
"As a mother, my job is to take care of the possible and trust God with the
impossible." Ruth Bell Graham
All my life I have been insecure - but five years after having my beautiful
Jessica I have become the kind of person I can be so proud of. Jessica has
taught me strength, endurance, unconditional love and laughter. At the end
of each day I am exhausted but I know in my heart that I have learned so
much
more that day, loved so much more that day and have helped someone else to
become the kind of person she can be proud of as well. - Dawn Mitten (mom
to Jes 4.5 HFA and Bobby 1yr old)
***
I aways say that my son Devin has shown me a different colored rainbow!!!!
Rachel
***
Dear Mommy, don't you cry now and Daddy don't you weep
I want to whisper in your ear before I go to sleep.
I know that when I came here, I seemed perfect in every way
And you were so proud Daddy when you held me on that day.
Mommy, when you kissed me and wrapped me up so tight,
I felt as if I belonged here and everything was right.
When things got really scary and I began to slip away
I saw your face dear Mommy, as you knelt by me to pray.
And Daddy I always notice when you wipe away a tear
or watch the other little kids as they run and laugh and cheer.
I may not be able to tell you how much I love you so,
Or even show you how I feel and what I really know.
But when you hold me Mommy, at night when all is still
I hear your dear heart beating and I know that all is well.
And Daddy when you take me to the park, to run and play
I know that you still love me, though the words I cannot say.
So Daddy don't you cry now and Mommy don't you weep,
I want to tell you something before I go to sleep.
I may be sort of different and you may not understand
I know that I am not the child that you and Daddy planned.
But I love you both so very much and I know you love me too
And one day when this life is done, you will feel my love for you.
I know the future is unknown and you will always have to be
the ones who love and listen and take good care of me.
The road we walk is rough sometimes and you cry a lot of tears,
But one day we will turn and laugh as we look back o'er the years.
So Mommy don't you cry now and Daddy don't you weep
I want to say I LOVE YOU before I go to sleep.
The above wasn't written by me. I don't know who wrote it, but it is my
favorite verse.
It could even be by Sally Meyer......she writes such heartwarming verses and
poems.
Mary Stoner
***
"And just where's that damm fairy godmother when you need her?!" from
Michelle's coffee cup!
***
This is a Mother's Day Card I give to myself, one that cannot be bought in
any store, one with sentiments more powerful for me than any Hallmark has
yet to express, and one with pictures so vivid, that not even Kodak could
capture. I challenge you to think about and write down your card to
treasure, as you read mine. A card like this can not be torn or lost, nor
can the words ever fade away.
So you know the meaning of this to me - know that my child is Autistic,
severely developmentally delayed, non-verbal, and three years ago, screamed
at my touch.
On my swing..
It happened on a Saturday morning - I went out back to sit on my porch swing
my husband made for me. Just the perfect size to stretch out on sideways
with my legs extended across the swing as I lean against the arm. Brandon
was jumping on the trampoline, Matthew was "chalking" on the porch with a
friend, and my husband was inside.
Suddenly, Brandon got upset about something, climbed down off the trampoline
and came over to me on the swing. He climbed up on my lap and with my leg I
pushed off the ground to swing a little higher. He settled down. Then he
did something I will never forget as long as I live. He snuggled in closer
on my lap, and leaned up against me. He then grabbed my arms one at a time
and positioned them just the way he wanted them around his waist, and laid
his body against me sideways, so I could see his face. For a moment he was
still and peaceful. Just leaning back against his mommy and swinging. His
weight pushing against me made the arm of the swing dig into my back, but I
didn't care. And then time froze. It was just me and him on the swing on
a beautiful Saturday morning. Just enough breeze to feel gentle and cool
against your skin. I wanted to get up and go tell my husband to get the
camera, but then I knew that never again would we be positioned just so.
The house windows were open and I thought about screaming out loud for my
husband to get the camera - but knew that would ruin the tranquility of the
moment. So instead, we sat there on the swing -and I captured every moment
with my mind. The only sounds were of the breeze rustling the leaves in
the trees around us, and the birds chirping softly. I don't know if it was
my hair blowing against his face tickling him, or if it was the feel of the
breeze against his skin, that made him start to giggle, then laugh; or if
it was simply a funny thought he had. Whatever it was, as in the Kodak
commercials, this moment could not be bought, --- it was priceless. Just
feeling him totally against my body- on his own,- and seeing the sparkle in
his brown eyes as he looked up right at me while laughing - was
spellbinding. Perhaps it was only a total of three minutes that we were
swinging - but they were MY three minutes, all mine. And to me, that seemed
like a lifetime. Then someone started a mower in the yard next to
ours, and the spell was broken. Brandon got up, picked up a leaf from
the ground, and started flapping it by his face - and was off to find the
mower. And I got up to go see the picture Matthew and his friend had
drawn..
I can't think of any event or accomplishment from Brandon that could be
more significant to me than that moment, --except perhaps the day he
comes up to me and shares with me, just what it was he was laughing about as
he looked at me and smiled - on my swing.
In the movie, "Touched by an Angel" there was a show where the mother was to
have brain surgery and could possibly lose all previous memory. She asked
her daughter prior to surgery, "What memory would you have me hang on to, to
remember." The daughter responded with a special moment they had shared.
And after the surgery, the mother indeed lost all memory, and didn't realize
who the lady beside the bed was, but she remembered the special moment she
promised she would, and she shared it with that lady.
That is what "On my swing" is for me. A moment I will never forget, one
that I will remember when life gets tough. That moment on that day, knowing
that not so long ago he would never have come to me - gave me hope that
indeed, anything was possible..
On this Mother's Day, and others to come, I am sure to get cards my
children made for me with help, and cards my husband picked out for me. But
the card that will always mean the most, will be that moment in time
captured in my mind - and not by Kodak or Hallmark or any artist.
I challenge each of you to stop and think of your life moment, or moments,
and read them with your heart.
And if you are so inclined, write them down as well - as I am trying to
gather stories to submit for a "Chicken Soup for the special needs soul"
book. A book for parents of special needs children - a book that other
parents, especially mom's, can read and be touched, encouraged, and
inspired.
Please keep a copy, and send me a copy with your name and address so I may
compile them as a sample submission. Also, state that I have your
permission to use your submissions for the book proposal. If you have short
quotes or pharases that can be used as introductory lines for the chapters,
please submit those. If you have come across stories from other books that
would be appropriate for this one, submit that with the original author's
information for credit. Stories about any diability from anyone's
perspective.
Please help gather stories from "famous" or "celebrity" persons on the
subject as well. Please help contact women members of the big autism
organizations - A. Horne from ASA, Portia from CAN, and so on....
E-mail submissions to tguppy@... - no attachments are allowed. If you
would like to mail them, send to Michelle Guppy, 16210 Cypress Trace,
Cypress, TX 77429.
If we don't have enough for a whole book - I want to propose to them a small
gift book idea for special mom's on Mother's Day, like "A sip of Chicken
Soup for the special needs soul."
Thank you,
Michelle Guppy